she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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