Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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