Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I think your dad took our porno
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
