Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
