Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
