just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
