I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize