Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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