is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
