is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
