Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
So squirting runs in the family.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just had sex on a roof
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
