god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
This is the high leading the old right now
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
