Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
