Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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