i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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