How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
