so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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