Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
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