Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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