Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
