Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
