there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
