Three words: puerto rican gang bang
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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