I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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