You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
