I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
