quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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