I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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