the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
