you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
