When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
