One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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