these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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