I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
