he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
