Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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