I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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