Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
MIDGETS
????
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
