who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
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