I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
This baby is an asshole
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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