I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I have already put on my inside pants.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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