Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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