I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
