He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
