EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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