Don't you send me to vm
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
We need a shit load of segways right now
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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