Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize