Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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