sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
