why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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