she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
BRING THE BAGELS
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
