You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
