help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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