girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
