I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
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