Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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