So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
