So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
