You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
