about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
