He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
