Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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