I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
